Sunday, August 9, 2009


I just returned from South Korea, attended one of the many meetings scheduled until this project is completed. A price I have to pay for acknowledging this new position / responsibility. But I won’t be focusing on that but to the question raised by my manager before leaving Japan. Maru-chan, what is your life plan? It caught me by surprised and asked for some time to answer it. I thought he forgot about it, but on our way to hotel he once again raised the question. Professionally and personally, he added.

Do I have a blueprint of my life already? Do I have to make one?

I told him that I don’t know yet and that it’s difficult to plan ahead. He stressed that one should set his goal and must not depend on the flow of time. I got his point but what can I do, it looks like I will never be serious about planning about life ahead. That mentality would seriously create a big problem in the end, I thought.

One evening, I found myself walking along the busy streets of Seoul. Searching for a continuation of my adventure two months ago, but failed. Anyway, while taking a pause and trying to observe the passers-by, that question once again popped in my head. And this time, I tried to entertain it.

What’s in store for me? Are there any new adventures waiting for me? But the more I try to expand that question, the more I get drowned looking for answers. Will I be working as an engineer for most of my lifetime, or will I shift to photography for a living? If I will aim harder, how hard will it be if I fail?


uncertainty flows
ocean of questions awaits
two choices -- sink, float

This morning I woke up and saw my mobile phone beside me. I called my mother and talked to her about my life plan. She told me that I need not worry much as every question I have will be answered in its right time. She joked that maybe I am just pressured with my new workloads. Hearing her words left me reassured that I will be fine. But she added that I must be serious with my work and must know how to set my priorities. How I look forward to these conversations every Sunday. And I don’t mind the telephone bill, but my company does. Haha!

Still sane.



  1. Totomai,
    Let me share my unsolicited thoughts, please indulge me as I am in no position to say this, but let me just say it as well... :) You have my respects as a more mature person than I am....

    Good and fulfilling life plans are always based on passions. Passions are those deep-seated dreams in us that could help us fulfill the purpose of our creation - to know, to love and to serve God. It is obvious I believe that your passion is in writing and in photography... Zig Ziglar said that to have a better than good life, we must live our lives according to our passions. But of course, we must also consider that our financial sources may not always be aligned with our passions. As such, part of our life line should include the shift of moving our financial sources to align with our passions... When the time comes that our passions are also our source of income, then we would never have to works for a single day for the rest of our lives... And when we have reached this stage, then the better than good life starts when we use our passions for the glory of God...

    To our passions!!!

  2. Hi Mark

    thanks. i was in contemplative mood after that question asked by my boss. yeah, passions should be followed and it would be very difficult for one to continue doing things uninterestedly.

  3. hehehe... wala ako ma share kasi kami rin...sumasabay sa flow lang ngayon...

  4. sabay sabay tayo sa agos. Musta na kayo jan?

  5. Your mother is very wise! I really liked what she had to say, and could completely relate to your struggle. Wonderful post.

  6. Thanks Sweetest, she uplifts my spirit, everytime :D

  7. One person we can always rely on being truthful to us is our mother...I sure miss being able to speak with mine and I would advise you to stay as close to yours as possible as long as you are blessed.

    No one ever out-grows a mother`s wisdom and love.

  8. I so agree with Maggie. I might add that while it is good to have plans, life has a way of happening, no matter what we have planned so it is also good to be able to be flexible. It seems to me that you are learning that right now as you explore the things you want to do. Good luck to you.

  9. hi john, i am glad you are enjoying your photography so much, i do not know how to mesh it with the career path you have right now, but mind you, there are many engineers who slowly worked their way to photography without leaving their jobs yet and only when they were in the pedestal of photography that was the time they left their jobs when they know their hobby has also been their major source of income, who knows? time will tell, you will get there with hardwork, but like what they say, we have to enjoy each day yet make plans for what we happily see of us to be. i can see your talent in photography and writing, maybe, if you want, you can research on how to sell your photos, how to write a book, and slowly make steps if you think it is the path you want to take but still keep your job while everything is not sure.

  10. So many wise thoughts that add to what you have written. And I loved the centering your mother brought to your quest. Engineering can be a creative career, but, like any career, it can also demand ALL from you, if you allow it. You may be sensing tension between a career that is financially satisfying (and perhaps intellectually satisfying as well), and your heart's desire. Be assured these issues do not go away. Your thoughts here suggest you are already thinking about what is right for you. So, persevere! Your photographs are very fine, but either/or can be an illusion. You can do both -- beautifully.

  11. Beautiful entry Totomai! :D

    Though it is not necessary to specifically plot blueprints of your life, at least it would be best to know your OPTIONS. So as when you ride on the stream of time, sooner or later you'll be reaching forks along the way.

    "Chance favors the prepared mind". - Louis Pasteur

  12. 'If I will aim harder, how hard will it be if I fail?'

    ako naman, mahilig mag-isip ng mga mangyayari sa akin in the future.. mahilig akong mangrap.. at gustung gusto kong isa-isa ko silang inaabot.. pero gaya ng linya mo, natatakot akong bumagsak..

  13. Aim high - you'll get somewhere...Aim low - you'll never miss the target.
    My guess is you're a high aimer...?

  14. bf john wahh! remember our reason is to give joy, were clown not clone wahhh ayaw ko hihi...
    but I do believe in you passions and that is more important!passions to express your inner thoughts as in distillingthoughts nga eh. No need for blueprint eklat.kasi nga remember abstract tayo hihi. We just need good spirit to lift other spirits to strive for what they believe in.mwahhh-ski

  15. @Maggie, yes in our ups and downs, our mother is the one whom we can run too. a simple hug from her would be enough

    @Dee, yes, flexibility, I'll keep that in mind

    @Ms Beth, I'll take everything one at a time I guess. I guess at 31, i must know already what i must do in the future but i guess im too lazy to set up my plans

    @Blue, engg is extracting all my energy, lol. i think i needed a sign on what to do, really

    @Scion, uy, thanks! loved the quote too. i must be prepared then with those options

    @Fjordz, i think its actually good on your part to establish your dreams, but yeah, sometimes life is too tricky. mahirap talaga mabigo

    @Stan, yes, I aim higher :D

    @BesFren, haha, ikaw lang abstract haha kinahiya e no. at ginawa mo pa tayong mga espiritu haha

  16. Nice insights totomai...

    It is really hard for a person to go thru life without a plan.. but sometimes it is thinking of the plan that takes up most of pur time.. we never plan when we were little.. we only do what we know is good and right for us... like you said.. you were assured by your mother that things will be ok.. maybe that is what we need.. ASSURANCE..

    i love the photo.. it has a certain depth..

  17. While we are making plans, life comes...nice post - I love that you have your mother to talk to!

  18. Thanks pot, i liked the tranquility exuding on that photo :-) glad we always have our mothers all the time

    @TW, its my therapy... talking to her :-)

  19. Nice one bro.

    In real life, blueprints are overrated. Life will never be similar to a building being built or a car being designed. We don't have to follow the details to place every nail in it's right place or tighten the bolts exactly as they are planned.

    Life is much more complicated, if indeed we follow one, we have to redo each one every time we miss something, or something new pops out automatically.

    i.e. Miss the last train, you decided to go to a bar and stay there til the first train comes. Then you meet someone..

    Much said.. just be happy. Follow your heart, your body and your soul.. and it will surely lead you to your "Blueprint".

  20. Allow yourself to fall into the path before you. Life will whisper the rest. the long bridge in your photo says all

  21. @Randy, thanks. life is full of complexities but i think all of us are used to it already. but we should always remember that life is spontaneous, thats where the excitement begins hehe

    @gabrielle, that reply of yours is absolutely inspiring, thanks

  22. hello totomai...i like the "..sink or swim."..there is a saying about about tomorrow...dont count the days, make the days count!... but yes, i agree a goal is important i am not so sure

  23. maganda rin pala ang naidudulot pag naiiwan si nikki hehehehe nagcocontemplate ka. iba ba yun sa distilling thoughts?

  24. Not really a choice! Or perhaps there is.... Love it.

  25. @pieceofpie, from now on, ill let the days count :D

    @ate rya, pareho lang. LOL!

    @Sandy, i will

  26. tamang tama ung photo sa theme, magaling ka talagang mag magic hehehe,

    nice wordplay.

  27. I agree with coolwaterworks.

    Whatever your heart finds it and your mind say its right, then go for it.

  28. A beautiful picture, I like it!!

  29. Love that long stretch of pier with signs of vessels waiting for a journey to begin. Somehow, this seems a little like you! Not sure you are really on a quest for a journey. You are seeking the right vessel for now!

  30. life plan.... so much a part of our world. When we have a vision it helps us to step towards it, create it. But the goal can change along the way. For me the journey is the most important part. I like to honor what feels right in every moment. This is what works for me. But I am a elder... the pressure is off a bit. Wishing you well.

  31. villians make plans; heroes just barged in with guns blazing... chrome

  32. @JBar, thanks

    @Regina, Ill remember that

    @Marju, thanks ;-)

    @Greyscale, I am waiting indeed :-)

    @Thanks Tammie for sharing those words of wisdom.

    @Chrome right! :-)


any thoughts to distill?

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