Passion

There are times that you feel that your life is in monotone, black and white or hueless. But there are chances that aid to put color to your life albeit temporary, its good enough to let you realize your existence. I thought, I am alive then.

These may be quick moments, a blurry vision but its enough to put a melody to my heart. Never thought I will be using the word heart here. Well, I must accept I have one and its still working in good conditions.

I think we all dream to find our destiny, our better half asap. But we can't control it, fate has its way of scheduling things despite the efforts you make. Life is real, not ideal, but its not wrong to set your path on an ideal way. Just lower your expectations because if things result to a not-so-favorable one, you might find it difficult to recover. Save some energy just for yourself.

And yes, I hope more of an ideal relationship will come soon. Maybe. Fingers-crossed.

3 Days with Betsy Faye

Yesterday...

We ran around the town plaza,
chased butterflies and dragonflies;
bought some cotton candies, laughed
and counted each other's missing teeth.

I loved you, Betsy.

Today...

We walk out of church,
showers of rice bless us;
waltz to the wishes of guests
while your lips rest on mine.

I love you, Faye.

Tomorrow...

We will sit on rocking chairs,
listen to the tic-tac's of our false teeth;
we'll stare at the pendulum
and wait until our clock of life stops.

I will love you, Betsy Faye.

/totomai

Life can be a fantasy too. Fantasy in a real world. Listen to the music within you.


totomai
06/20/09

Pace

From the movie Simon Birch.

Time is a monster that cannot be reasoned with. It responds like a snail to our impatience, then it races like a gazelle when you can't catch a breath.

Ah, so true, the mysticism of time's movement. Its fixed, twenty fours a day but sometimes it feels like 12, sometimes like 30. Since I returned back to work, its only apartment to office to apartment. I think I've been missing lots of in-betweens. Days are stretched to eternity, draining out all of my energy. My only consolation is my bed who willingly embrace and comfort me every night.

I guess that's Japanese approach to life, a fast-paced one compared to Philippines, where everything seems in slow motion. I am used to the latter's but I think I was able to adjust to Japanese way of living. After all, life is full of adventures. No. Life is an adventure itself.

Last night, I went out of the office a bit early, and had the chance to go around my apartment, uncleaned for almost a month. I thought, I finally had time for myself. After dinner, I watched the film, The Boy in the Striped Pyjamas. Movies about friendship really interests me. The movie was appropriately paced and it didn't have lots of special effects - just raw emotions from the actors. For an hour and a half, I was left open-mouthed. Never did I predicted that the movie would end that way, its one of the most heartbreaking endings I have ever seen. I guess I won't be forgetting it any time soon. You just can't beat time.

Time and its movement are spontaneous too. They seem to have minds of their own. Too difficult to wrestle against them. If you survive, your lucky enough, but if not... just like what happened to my friend.

Paper Planes
for Vincent 1977-2003

Carelessly, you climbed
the rusty roofs, held tightly
to the weary limbs of a guava tree.

Like a five-year-old, you wouldn't stay
put - folded the newspapers
into lop-sided gliders.

You challenged the airplanes,
let go of artificial ZZOOOMMMMs!
and tried to touch the sky.

One day, you took control
of a real plane, held tightly
to the yoke, observed the altimeter.

It wasn't like flying papers,
you were nearer to the skies
a dream realized at twenty-five.

Were you playing when you zoom
through the blues
and the emotionless clouds?

You found it a hard landing.

/totomai

Time can be a friend. But sometimes, it can be against you. Sometimes.

Time is a monster that cannot be reasoned with. It responds like a snail to our impatience, then it races like a gazelle when you can't catch a breath.

/totomai
02/07/08