Thursday, November 20, 2008

Blindness

Last weekend, I watched Dancer in the Dark again. Its one of the many movies that I will never get tired of watching despite some of its sappy and soap opera-ish parts. Bjork’s performance, the ending and the soundtrack are enough to keep me interested for 2 hrs.

The movie is about Selma played brilliantly by Bjork.
Selma's life would be one of relative contentment if it were not for the ugly secret she harbors -- she is on the verge of blindness due to a genetic disorder, and her young son will suffer the same fate without an operation. More here.

The movie always makes me think. How scary it is to go blind? In Selma’s case, she knows she will lose her eyesight soon but waiting for that day is a torture. If only I was brave enough, I should have asked this question to my late aunt. She died six years ago, and two years prior, she was already blind. The doctor said its glaucoma, and considering her health condition, the doctor didn’t recommend any operation as he said there will be no assurance that she can see again. For that span of time, we were her eyes. I can felt her sadness and we tried so hard to cheer her up. I think its true, that if you lost one sense, other senses compensate. She became so sensitive with the sounds and can feel anything around her. I wasn’t able to ask her what the last thing she ever saw was.

I am afraid of getting blind too. After my eyes received a smash from a tennis ball, I decided to permanently hang my racket in my room. I promised not to play that sport ever again. In a matter of second, I saw nothing and as I slowly remove my hands on my face my heart palpitated. Once blurred, I eventually saw clearly. Whew! After that accident, I went to see a doctor and he recommended a laser surgery but until now I didn’t have the time to undergo that operation. Its been four months already!

Again, I am thinking, which one is less painful, getting blind all of a sudden or knowing that you will be blind soon. Both are painful, in my opinion.


checkered

Blindness

the pastel sunsets I chase
and the bowing weeds I pass by

the neon lights play at night
cradling spirits on the streets

rainbow flower fields
solace to butterflies and bees

vanishing colors streaks
turns pitch black

all is gone.

the laughter of kids
in harmony with splashing waves

the tapping of the rain
and whispers of the wind

rhythm of footsteps
approaching and leaving

comforting sounds
in a dark world

not all is gone.

/totomai

Here in Japan though, I am surprised by how the government takes care of the blind persons. Every pedestrian is equipped with sound system for them to hear. At the train station, there are yellow lines and areas intended for them to feel. The railings, stairs and the walls have codes (braille) and instructions for them to follow.

But then again, if I go blind, is there a way to see things? I can always use my imagination and paints sceneries on my mind. It may never be as close as the real thing but that’s one option I can do. Of course, I will miss my camera and the photo opportunities. I can’t continue to work and I don’t know what I will be capable of doing in case I lose my sight. How can I earn money? Will I depend so much on the sounds around me? Will somebody’s going to take care of me? I don’t know and I hope I won’t be in that situation.

I am taking good care of my eyes more than anything. I don’t want to be in a situation that I will be biting my elbows. But anyway, I am blaming these thoughts on the movie.

/totomai
11/20/08

25 comments:

  1. Blame it to the movie? Hmmm :p Anyway, take care of your eyes, Kuya.

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  2. oo, if not for the movie i wont think about getting blind haha :-)

    thanks, i will

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  3. drama mo mai... pero dapat sinunod mo na yung payo ng doctor... natakot pa nman ako noon.. buti nlang naiwan yung salamin mo sa bahay...

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  4. hhaa emote lang lav. oo nga buti nga di ako nakasalamin nun. wala akong pera. sayang, pambili ng lens yun haha

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  5. I like the poem, it's a frightening thought, going blind!

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  6. Well done. The poem is lovely. I cannot imagine being blind. How sad.

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  7. The poem (which again is very well written), points out one comforting aspect of a terrifying condition.

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  8. yan c totomai, matigas ang ulo, ayaw makinig sa doctor, hihi...

    di ko din ma-imagine mai...lolo ko bulag pero andami nya achievements...

    pero sana nga, di yan mangyari kahit kanino man satin...

    ai

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  9. on the other hand, i read somewhere that losing one sense enhances another... the silver lining... but heck, you take care of your eyes! id rather lose my shutter finger than my shutters hehehe

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  10. hahahaha,,wag ka matakot,, madami kang mata,,,
    matagal pa yun,,, lahat naman mabubulag,,,matakot ka kung wala ka ng kamay,,
    hehehe,,, paano ka na nyan? hahaha---dar

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  11. @STG, yes, i know its scary. but i think of it LOL!

    @tumblewords, me too eithe

    @stan, thanks

    @mata, hayaan mo na. mas importante ang lens e

    @ate rya, oh i agree with you hehe

    @darryl, haha e di paa kung mawala ang kamay haha

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  12. I had a hard time reading this because I really fear going blind. Being claustophobic only adds to the anxiety. By the end, though, I felt better. Sight isn't everything!

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  13. it is a beautiful poem and story..especially so abt yr aunt... makes us all the more aware of what we have and how fleeting life is even in it's abundance... that is very interesting abt Japan and how the government is dealing with blindness and providing so well...

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  14. @Linda, me too especially if there's no electricity lol and its too dark. yeah, i know

    @OMB, thanks. yup im actually surprised about japanese government's gestures :-)

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  15. To lose any of the five senses, having experienced them, would be incredibly sad. But I'm glad your post is quite positive; with company or a guide dog, blindness would not be so bad.

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  16. I have macular degeneration, the dry variety fortunately... but one does worry.
    Interesting image.

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  17. Enjoyed the photo and all your words on blindness. Wouldn't care to lose my sight or any of my senses for that matter.

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  18. Interesting wordss. Love those beaming lights!

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  19. This was a very sensitive and thought provoking post. I love the shot.

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  20. I truly love your shot and your poem.
    And I'm pleasured to find your posts always thought provoking.

    You are really talented!
    Anna

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  21. Beautiful thought provoking words and imagery.

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  22. Now this is a very creative shot.
    Great job!

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  23. Interesting image and fascinating background info

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  24. Very well-reflected post and an interesting picture :)

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    ReplyDelete

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