Bodypaint

Today, I am a year older and there’s no stopping it. Most of you are aware of my yearly birthday tradition - photo shoot in birthday suit. I was running out of idea and then I met Ai-san, a body painter in Yokohama, in one of photography meet-ups.

Fit

DISCLAIMER : I am no health expert. I am sharing below experience because of the positive results. It may be effective to your body or may not. At least, it is worth a try. And don’t be surprised by the accompanying photos, it is my tradition to be in my birthday suit every year. 

I reached 91 kgs last June. I ignored the gain thinking that it was a part of getting older. However, that particular mindset changed after I completed one of my supervisory works. I was assigned in the field and it was getting difficult for me to climb and inspect the vessels. I got tired so easily. Back in Japan, my office mates would always say ohayo goizamasu to my belly instead of saying it to my face. Talk about adding insult to injury. Friendly banters.

curl like a fetus

in a cold-hearted city

thirty eighth birthday

Routine

37. Today. 

I just finished reading the book "25 Lessons I've Learned about photography life" by Lorenzo Dominguez. It was given by a friend in 2012. In one of the last chapters, the author talked about a realization while living alone -

While living alone, waking up alone, going out to take pictures alone, eating alone, being alone, I became much more aware that I was not alone, that apart from other people, the world was full and overflowing with, with beauty in motion.

And that brings me to reflect on my life here in Japan. Yes, I am living alone and felt that I have already made the necessary adjustments in order to survive in a foreign land. After all, my seven-year stay is more than enough.

 

77th

Two years ago, I planned to surprise my mom on her diamond year but it didn't push through since I had problems with my passport. This year, however, I saw to it that I can go back to the Philippines to celebrate her 77th.

Santa

When I was growing up, Santa was always the first one to greet me "Advanced Happy Birthday!" On his gifts, he always included Christmas and birthday wishes. I thought, aside from being generous, he seemed to be very thoughtful human being. But that was more than 30 years ago.

6

I was jobless when I started blogging. That was six years ago, March 9, 2007 to be exact. Though there is a steady decline on the total number of posts each year, I am proud to say that I have at least one entry per month - a total of 72 consecutive months of distilling thoughts.

 

photo by KidPerez

Lola

 

a human hammock
unlimited sways of love
mother, grandmother

 And now you are a certified Lola* at 76! This is your moment, spotlight is yours!

Onsen

Today, I turn a year older and it means totomai-in-his-birthday-suit tradition continues.  Will it ever end? Of course, don't worry, I am already half-way through it.

 

34

I just turn 34. Six more years and I will stop counting my age because as they say life begins at 40. That would mean that I'll spare everyone from my yearly birthday shots. Honestly, I don't think I can maintain it forever, so a decade of it is more than enough. What I am talking about? Here's the flashback of my 30th, 31st, 32nd, 33rd. 

33

Double three. Yes, today I turn 33.

An hour past noon, more than three decades ago, I had my first cry. I was born and a bit overweight then. No need to point that out since I am overweight now too despite being underweight during my school years. I am the first child of Nilda and Cezar who were the happiest parents on earth last December 29, 1977.

They are one of the earliest to greet me. Earlier than my alarm clock. Mama wakes me up with this kiss while Papa starts playing a Happy Birthday cd. I wonder why they are up this early.

And I remember that today, my parents are scheduled for check-up (including lab tests) and my birthday wish is for them to have normal results. This wish is beyond anyone's control but still I am hoping everything will turn out fine. In half-a-month, I will be going back to Japan again and I want to be sure that I need not to worry.

If last year wishes were more about me, this time it's for my family, especially to the two people who give their all to provide me and my brother all the support and needs since birth until now. My personal wishes can wait for a while.

Being 32 was a blast. The past 365 days were spectacular, there may be some low points but it was there to balance out everything. (Maybe this would be another blog entry).

Positivity this thirty-three. Cheers!

totomai
12/29/10

Four

Wow, I can't believe I missed my 4th Flickr Birthday. I must have been very busy with other things during that time. Even for a while, I have forgotten the existence of my flickr account. The addiction has certainly died down but I'm still hoping that I will have this interest to continue to post one photo a day to share to my friends in flickrville.

Four years, 1565 uploaded photos, 4 cameras.

Earlier today, while relaxing after cleaning my place, I started browsing my flickr account and it was like a time travel. I can still vividly recall how, where did I take these photos. Seeing these photos again, I thought I should have save them properly. A few weeks ago my external hard drive crashed containing thousands of photos I took for 4 years. I am trying hard to recover these files.

I started with a Casio EX-Z40, Nikon D80, Ricoh GR III and a new one which I forgot.

In celebration of my 4th flickr birthday, allow me to share the 10 most popular photos in my flickr photo stream. Let me take you back from year 2006 to 2010.

Shoe, uploaded May 1 2007, Casio EX-Z40

Bouquet, uploaded Oct 23 2006, Casio EX-Z40

Fantasy, uploaded Oct 29 2008, Nikon D80

At Day's Break, uploaded Nov 13 2006, Casio EX-Z40

Gundam, Jun 27 2009, Nikon D80

Poppies, Apr 16 2009, Nikon D80

Deep, May 4 2007, Casio EX-Z40

Serenity, Jul 15 2008, Nikon D80

Penguin, Sep 26 2006, Casio EX-Z40

Farewell, Aug 5 2009, Nikon D80

Going through my online photo album again, a spark of inspiration enveloped me. Although time is not allowing me to take hundred of photos nowadays and my photography muse is currently in coma, I will try not to stop clicking even it will produce a good or not so good shot. It is a good stress reliever.

And before I end this blog, here's the very first shot I uploaded in flickr. LOL! Indeed, photographs are time travel machines.

Totomai will still continue to point and shoot. In every opportunity that comes his way.

/totomai
08/21/10

Mother

Today is my mother's special day. It is her 73rd birthday. And again, as I always say for the nth time, I will be missing the celebration. I really wanted to be there but due to some job responsibilities, I just can't. Probably by next year I can join them to celebrate the occasion.

I may be far away but everytime I remember this incident, I can't help but smile. I think I was in high school when my mother was about to go the grocery and asked me if I needed something. I told her, "Please buy me Peoples (one of the many newspapers in the Philippines)." After she returned, I searched the grocery bags and started looking for the newspaper. I became impatient and told her I can't find it. A bit annoyed, she went to where the bags were placed, and told me, "You are using your mouth while searching for it. Here it is!" To my surprise, she was holding a bottle of pickles! I told her Ma, "it was Peoples not pickles!." LOL!

While growing up, my mother always told us that her biggest dream for me and my brother was to finish our studies. I am proud to say that we were able to fulfill her dream. I finished by BS Chemical Engineering course, and my brother, BS Economics. Thanks Ma for all the support and inspiration not only during our school days but even up to these days. Also, thanks Pa for everything, but Ma was more vocal about her hopes and wishes to us.

Now as you turn another year, one of our wishes for you is to be healthier all year round, away from allergies thats been bothering you, and on the next years to come. Sooner, you will also have your first grandchild and I know you are already excited. All the best Ma.

Everytime I call you on weekends, its like I am just beside you. From how are you's to just hearing your laughters are enough for me to continue working here in the Land of Rising Sun. This coming May or June, I will be home once again and we will have more time again together. See you soon.

As for the meantime, enjoy your day. Reserve one plate for me, I'll be there in spirit. And who says being a Mamas boy is a bad thing? LOL!

Happy Birtday Mama! Palangga ka namon.

/totomai
03/01/10

Balloons

Growing up, I always thought that balloons were exclusively for birthday celebrations only. And if you have balloons during your party, you will gain another set of friends, LOL! Those were the days. But if I remember it right, I had balloons during my birthday celebration twice or thrice only. Other than those two, it’s all food, food and food. Ah, childhood memories. I can still recall the words stamped on the inflatable,

HAPPY 5th BIRTHDAY,
TOTOMAI
December 29, 1982.

Fast-forward to 2009. I just turned 32. And I don’t need these balloons anymore, as I am one living balloon. Ha ha! Each year, I am getting bigger and bigger. It seems unstoppable, like a helium-filled balloon escaping from an enclosed space to the open air. Hoping that someone can deflate me before it’s too late, for health reasons as you know. Or I’ll just pop naturally, what a scary thought.

Anyway, a few days ago, I kept on thinking of using balloons to celebrate my birthday. Since I turned 30, I decided to have a photograph of me in my birthday suit. It all started in Thailand (30th), then the Philippines (31st) and now in Japan (32nd). I wonder where will be the next location. Hmmm. Aside from the fact the balloons bring out the child in me, it reminded me of the sacrifices of my parents in giving me and my brother worth-remembering celebrations, with or without balloons.

Turning a year older is a gift and no one can take that from you. It is yours and yours alone. It means that you must continue your journey. With refreshed positivity, I am starting a new chapter of my life. I am ready to whatever my path offers me.

Happy Birthday, Totomai!

/totomai
12/29/09

Thoughts

Autumn’s almost gone. Winter’s approaching. And I’m on the street waiting for the day that I won’t be seeing my age in the calendars ever again. Ah, three more weeks.

distant lighthouse guides
a clearer path to trek on
uncertainty fades

Actually, instead of really waiting to that day, I am looking forward on the activities that I will be doing while I’m still 31. Being in three projects as of the meantime, I am looking forward of going home early, hoping to minimize overtime works or else too much work won’t stop me from reaching that age. But seriously speaking, despite the volume of my workload, I am enjoying my job as a Project Engineer. I may have lots to learn especially about strategizing but I think I learned so much being on this position. Of course, I still like to go back to Process Group, I’m a Process Engineer in the first place.

What’s next? Christmas Parties! Looking forward to attend lots of Christmas Parties where Coke is overflowing. Yes, I am not looking forward to beers and hard drinks, only to cola. Just kidding. Celebrating this season in a foreign land sucks, but I am glad to have lots of Filipino friends here who in one or another lessen up my longing to be back home during holidays. And parties here won’t be complete without karaoke, and I am already practicing my piece, an instrumental one.

I wasn’t allowed to take a long holiday since I already went home last October. Instead, my boss gave a two-day vacation. Thanks boss! I will be out of Japan for four days. I think its enough to refresh me and would do wonders in helping me finish my year end reports, project accomplishments and the likes.

Christmas. It’s a working day here in Japan so no celebration. Perhaps, I‘ll just call my family back home. Hearing their voices will be enough to counter the biting cold.

I plan to finalize my birthday suit concept too. I started doing this last 2007, when I was 30. This year, I want it to be more colorful and full of life. Anyway, it will be fun. If you have any idea, please email me haha!

The remaining days of being 31 are quite packed. I am just enjoying my life.

/totomai
12/05/09

Three

So, shoot me. One of my resolutions before was to avoid entertaining the idea of buying photography gadgets and accessories, I failed. I have four lenses now, an external flash, a prokit and others. And I think, there's more to come. Such an expensive yet stress-dissolving hobby.

Photography IS and WILL BE a part of my life. It will be a hobby that I won't forsake. Mark my words. Though there are times that I got bored, uninspired and uninterested, but after a while that passion within just come rushing out once again.

Camera

if only i could think
i will find an angle
you haven't tried

if only i could speak
i will scream at the subjects
to participate

if only i could feel
i will complain
for times you mishandled me

if only i could whisper
these words to you
my bestfriend

/totomai

This hobby, I must say started after I discovered Flickr, a site I only thought as a photo storage site. Sooner, I discovered that its more than that. I got addicted, hence, here I am needing a rehab to overcome this addiction. LOL! I am 3 yr-flickr old! I started with a humble Casio EX-Z40, and after her death, with Nikon D80. One thing is for sure, I won't be buying a new camera, unless its a gift. Haha!

For this post, I will be posting my Top 30 photos the past 3 years and after 1,245 uploads, based on favorites from other Flickr members and Flickr's interestingness ranking. After looking through my photostream earlier, it brought back lots of memories and made me realize how I progress in this field. I can't still see my future though, LOL!

1 Shoe



2 Deep



3 Fantasy



4 Shore



5 Beginning



6-30

These photos are very special to me and its an honor on my part to share each one of them to you. One of the reasons I continue sharing my photos is the fact that I was able to inspire one or two to try and explore the colorful world of photography. It's a feeling that cannot be quantified.

As I keep on repeating on my blogs, as long as I can see, I will try to capture everything and each opportunity that come my way. I'll keep on clicking!

Thanks to all my fellow photographers for inspiring me to experiment and go out of my comfort zone. I have lots to learn from each one of you!

More three years and photos to come. I hope. Again, Happy Flickr Birthday to me.

/totomai
07/11/09